100 Things (Part Un)

I was listening to a podcast the other day & one of the challenges the host had recently tried was listing 100 things that she liked about herself.  She talked about how hard it was to do, but also how healing it was; I have a feeling that I will have a tough time, as well, so I’m going to break it into small chunks & see how I do.

  1. Although I am not perfect, I am the best mom I can be.
  2. I have good legs.
  3. I always try to be considerate of others at the grocery store, etc.
  4. I have a knack for two things:
    • making people feel comfortable
    • making people laugh
  5. I am creative.
  6. I enjoy learning new things.
  7. I am not afraid to admit when I’m wrong (even though it’s a hit to the pride).
  8. I am beginning to get more comfortable with fighting my anxiety & stepping out of my comfort zone since being in remission.
  9. I enjoy helping others–running the patient support group, doing volunteer work, etc.
  10. I have a kind heart & a lot of empathy for others.
  11. I am not materialistic & the smallest things make me happy–fresh flowers, candles, Hallmark channel, doing puzzles, reading a good book, etc.
  12. People confide in me because they know that I will keep things in confidence.
  13. I enjoy giving gifts to others & always put a lot of thought into what I give to a person because I love bringing joy to other people.
  14. I can carry a tune & love singing in the car with my kids.
  15. I enjoy spending time with my kids and love the small things–going to the park, the pool, the library, doing puzzles together, etc.
  16. I am pretty decent at crossword puzzles & Sudoku.
  17. After being sick for so long, I know how to appreciate small things that many others take for granted.
  18. I am great at decorating & making a house a home.
  19. I know a lot about (and thoroughly enjoy) music of all genres.
  20. I am great with my clients at work & enjoy bonding with and getting to know them.
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Remind(ed)

Last year, the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, we met in-person after texting for a few weeks.  The red flags were raised when you repeated things you had told me as though I was getting breaking news.

I wasn’t.  It was recycled.  Secondhand.  Already knew it from the last time you told me.

Alarm bells.  When I called you out on this, you admitted what I was already aware of (life is funny when you aren’t a dummy).  I didn’t really want to meet you at that point, and told you as much.

But I felt something easygoing about our so-called connection, so I did.

I am grateful for it now.  I am thankful for the lessons I’ve learned from you about what I’m willing to put up with (but also what I’m NOT).

You are still to this day the best first (date?) I’ve ever had.  I appreciated that you took in the information about my life & seemed to have an ounce (or a pound) of empathy.  It meant a lot.  Fall was our favorite season;  you grabbed my hand (and my butt) like we’d known each other forever.  But there was still the nagging feeling when you went off on your own at Homespun to text on your phone.

I knew.  Heart sunk while I looked at mugs & prints of Indianapolis neighborhoods.  Why did I venture so far from the comforts of Suburbia for this?

 

They say that men can simply sleep with someone–anyone–and not have a feeling about it.  That was sad to me.  I felt sad for you.

Demo Day t-shirt & you gave me a bottle of Diff-Stat.  Most wouldn’t know what that is, but we did, and it was the thought that counted.  I appreciated it.

 

I know you thought (and probably still think) that I overreacted every time I lashed out at you, but the truth is, your behavior made me feel like a zero every time we were around each other the past year.

I had long ago had enough of wondering if I was good enough for my father, my stepfather, my first love, my ex-husband.  I didn’t need another to add to the list.

 

The few I confided in didn’t like you–didn’t like the way you treated me, or the way you got so angry & defensive when I (rightfully so) felt deep hurt and got the guts to express it.  I hate myself for expressing it in the ways I did, but I am human, too.

The few once asked, “Has this guy ever done anything nice for you?”

I racked my brain.  I couldn’t legitimately think of one single thing.  For months.

 

Then when I picked the kids up from my ex’s the other day I was rummaging through a drawer in the kitchen trying to dig for a pen and what do I find?  The bottle of Diff-Stat.

I put it in my purse to remind myself that while you don’t know my struggles, I don’t really know yours, either.  I like to think that at your core you are the beautiful person I felt a connection to.

I refuse to let you make me feel like a bad person for expressing the tremendous hurt you made me feel at times, but I also refuse to label you as a bad person.  I just won’t believe that about you.

 

My first love messaged me out of the blue last night & when I confided in him, he told me that I have a good head on my shoulders and that I am so strong.  The universe knew I needed to hear that & it felt good to hear that from a person that has known me from the age of 16.

Life is a gift, I swear it.

I am reminded of this blurry, resonating poem.

artoflosing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goal Update

I need to take this list more seriously…I swear 2018 will be gone in the blink of an eye.

I have been having a horrific time adjusting to my “new normal.”  Some days I don’t even recognize myself anymore because I have had such a difficult time with the trauma of divorce–even despite having a “good” divorce.  It boggles my mind.

I know that I will get through it; that there will be light soon–I will see the end of the tunnel.  In the meantime, I need to stop beating myself up for the mistakes I have made–I made them because I am human & because instead of trying to deal with these emotions head-on, I decided to try to stuff them into a suitcase until it was so full that I had to sit on it in order to zip it up.  Of course the suitcase burst open.  It was only a matter of time.  Baggage.  Stop carrying it around.  Stop even trying to function as a normal human being when you are lugging that with you.  Everywhere you go.  Stop & deal with the emotion so you can leave it behind.

This is how uptight I have been lately:

Scenario: Post-op checkup; conversation with my GI doc’s PA

PA: “Let me listen to your heart; relax and take deep breaths.”

**follows direction, believes I have relaxed my body**

PA: “Relax.”

Me: “I am relaxed.  This is me relaxed.”

 

Of course GI doc says that I need a lower-stress job.  But I don’t want to.  I love what I do.  It is rewarding.  I feel like I am making a difference in patient care in a roundabout way.  Helping others helps me.  It’s my thing.

All three kids are spread between different schools this year.  It is blowing my mind how OLD they’re getting.  I miss being home–having them home with me all day.  I wish they were teeny tiny again.  It’s made me reconsider whether I am as “done” with the thought of having more children as I originally thought.

 

Definitely not ready to date.  The apps are the worst.  Just the worst.  They have rattled my faith in humanity at times.  Also, because I myself wasn’t ready, I haven’t always behaved myself, either.  It’s time to just put the idea of dating to bed for a while.  Good night.

I have made a few observations:

  • A lot of men in my area are “entrepreneurs” and “property management experts.”
  • Some men work out SEVEN days a week.  For HOURS on end.
  • The majority of men have absolutely no idea how to carry on an engaging, reciprocal conversation–they have NO idea about it being a give-and-take.  I don’t know how they function in life…like, who would be interested in these guys that have nothing else to talk about except themselves?
  • If I do hit it off with someone, as soon as they find out that I have children, they often stop talking to me altogether.  I don’t look at my kids as baggage.  They don’t need a dad–they already have a great one.  I just don’t understand the aversion to dating someone that has children.
  • Many men will push you to meet them out somewhere within hours of first beginning to talk to you–if you tell them that you’d prefer to get to know them just a wee bit better first, they lose their gourd.  Why?
  • If a man tells me he is a nice guy, that usually turns out to be untrue.  Basically, whatever people proclaim themselves to be when dating, it seems to turn out that they are actually the exact opposite of their proclamation–just give them time & they will show themselves.
  • If a guy is in his mid-thirties or forties & has never married or had kids by this point in life, but tells you that he has an interest in doing so…it often seems to be a lie.  Maybe not an outright lie, but perhaps they are lying to themselves.  I just find men that say these words usually back them up with actions that actually prove the exact opposite–they are not capable of settling down & carrying on the type of relationship that is stable enough for a woman to want to bring kids into.
  • For the most part, women tend to want to find one person & date them.  Men seem to want to date multiple women at a time, which likely means they are also sleeping with multiple women.  So you’re essentially sleeping with all of them, too.  It’s just gross.  It’s not for me.
  • A lot of guys take certain types of photos:
    • The car selfie (I hope you were parked & not driving while you took that.  Why do guys hang out in their cars taking pics of themselves?  I’m a girl & I don’t even do that on the regular.)
    • The shirtless selfie, or the selfie of just their torso.  We get it.  You workout a lot.  This is also a good indicator that they are just looking for one thing–sex.
    • Pictures that have their children in them & their faces haven’t been blurred out.  This concerns me…you can say you’re a dad, but don’t show your kids on dating apps.
  • If a guy’s profile states that he is “no drama” or has “no drama,” run.  Usually it’s the exact opposite.
  • I have made SO MANY embarrassing mistakes trying to date before I was ready.  I have a lot of shame for those because I behaved in ways that I never would have DREAMED I could.  I need to forgive myself for that & just focus on being alone for a while.  I need to figure out who I am as a single person before I can even BEGIN to figure out what I am looking for in a partner…or if I really even WANT to have another partner.
  • I think that I need to get a pet to keep me company on the weeks I don’t have the kids because those are the weeks I get so lonely & depressed.  I really want a dog, but I am so afraid to pull the trigger on getting one.  If I am afraid to commit to a dog, how can I even THINK I am ready to try to commit to another person?

 

List Update:

2017/2018 Goals

  • Take three cooking classes (preferably cuisine that is out of my comfort zone)
    • 11/16 update: Two friends from work & I are taking the Introductory Class at Katsumi’s Teaching Kitchen on the 26th–I am looking so forward to it.  🙂
  • Start painting again
    • 10/29 update: started my first painting today–we’ll see how it turns out!  🙂
  • Take a trip alone (Cape Cod? Vermont?)
  • Buy flowers for myself (SUNFLOWERS=#love)
    • Done–fresh flowers are always a mood lifter.
  • Join a gym
    • 10/28 update: I joined Planet Fitness–woo!  My goal is to start out going twice a week & once I get used to that, up it to three or four times a week.  
    • I will do a six month check-in on this goal to keep myself accountable.  
    • 10/29 update: I went to Planet Fitness today for the first time since signing up & I LOVED it!  I made it an hour–thirty minutes on the treadmill & thirty minutes on the recumbent bike.
    • 8/11 update: I still belong to said gym.  I love how I feel after I work out.  Am I going as often as I should be/want to be?  FAIL.  This is a WIP.  If you don’t know what “WIP” means, it’s “work in progress.”  Basically, my entire being is currently a WIP.
  • Take two spin classes
    • 11/16 update: I just finished my third class at Cyclebar.  I have a love/hate relationship with these classes.  They push me to my limit & p*ss me off, but I love the music & I always feel like a million bucks by the end of the class.  I think I will continue with these classes on a drop-in basis, but I am a bigger fan of the gym because I can zone out to music while watching HGTV.
  • Make a vision board (What do I want to make me happy?)
    • 10/29 update: DONE!  Also found this great article: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-rider/the-scientific-reason-why_b_6392274.html 
    • vision board_1vision board_2
  • Find inspiring self-love quotes
    • 10/29 update: DONE!  https://www.pinterest.com/bethella_fitz/self-love/
  • Watch Heartburn 
    • 8/11 update: Totally watched it.  Totally remembered why I love that movie.  Totally remembered what a bad ass Meryl Streep is, even with her bad 80’s hair.
  • Run a 5k (for a good cause)
    • 8/11 update: I feel like it’s wise to just cross this one off the list because if I can’t even get my ass to the gym on the regular to WALK on a treadmill, the chances of me running a 5k by the end of this year are nil.  Note to self: Add to list of 2019 goals.
  • Start writing again
    • 10/22 update: Starting this blog counts, right?  😉
  • Read ten books (75% should be non-fiction)
    • 10/29 update: I started reading Living Forward.  Very interesting book so far.
    • 8/11 update: Also failing at this goal.  Note to self: make more time for reading.
  • Volunteer at Ronald McDonald House
  • Reconnect with five friends I’ve lost touch with
    • 10/22 update: Getting ready to go out with an old friend from high school.  As I type, she is on her way over!  
  • Try two new restaurants downtown (Mesh, Black Market?)
  • Improve meal planning/grocery shopping lists; try new recipes
    • 10/28 update: I used Kroger’s ClickList for the first time today–it was so great!  It made it much easier to meal plan and I stayed under budget because I wasn’t in the store to be tempted to impulse buy anything.  I highly recommend ClickList if you have it in your area.  
    • 8/11 update: After my surgery in May I actually had delivery from Home Chef for a few weeks & I loved it the one time I actually made one of the recipes, but it was so difficult to find the motivation to cook when I was in so much physical pain.  Unfortunately I still have pain three months later, though not as bad/often as before.  I still want to learn how to cook more complicated recipes a la Julia Child.  Beef bourguignon! 
    • julia
  • Take a walk twice per week (Maybe even a walk in the rain/snow now & again?)
    • 10/22 update: Just walked with my good friend/neighbor to nearby model homes & back.  Walking through model homes is super therapeutic & inspiring for me, as I love interior design.  
    • 8/11 update: FAIL WHALE.  BUT.  I do walk sometimes, just not on the regular.  I found this really cool pond behind my complex with a dock for fishing & a trail all the way around it.  I always feel better after I walk around it, connecting with nature & all the zen AF shit.
  • Put a piece of furniture together without the help of a dude (YOU CAN DO IT!)
    • 8/11 update: I sort of did this, so I am crossing it off.  I say I “sort of” did it because two girls from work also helped me build all of my IKEA furniture when I moved into my apartment.  I did build parts of the furniture on my own.  I built all six drawers for the kids’ dressers.  Um, the first of the six I built I did backwards & it is still sitting in Frank’s room because I don’t have the physical strength to pull it apart.  And I don’t want to ask a guy for help.  Because then I defeat the purpose.  But really, I should probably just ask for help.  New Goal for 2019: Learn how to ask for help!
  • Go to a movie alone
    • 8/11 update: I DID do this one!  And I loved it!  I took myself to see Book Club.  I sat where I wanted & I got the snacks that I wanted….it was awesome.  If you have never gone to a movie alone before, I highly recommend.

book club

  • Visit the following places: As of 8/11, still a WIP
    • Indianapolis City Market
    • Indy ComedySportz
    • Jazz on the Avenue – Madame Walker Theatre
    • See two Footlite Musicals
    • Wildwood Market

 

 

 

Things I’m Learning

I moved into my own apartment about three weeks ago.  Thus far I have learned:

  • I am still used to cooking for a crowd.
  • I am not used to being alone.
  • Today I went & signed up for a library card & found myself with access to a much larger library.  When you have more choices, it is difficult to make a decision.  I am thankful for the Goodreads app; it helped me pare down my list.
  • Dating is not for me.  Probably not for a good, long while.
  • I need to find a new church.  I signed up for a divorce support group at one of those monster churches & had to miss the first meeting due to a head cold from hell.  In the meantime, I find myself reading devotionals & highlighting Bible verses–sometimes I feel like God is telling me, “READ.  SO APPLICABLE TO YOU.  HIGHLIGHT THE HELL OUT OF THIS ONE, THEN WRITE IT DOWN & STICK IT ON THE REFRIGERATOR SO YOU SEE IT EVERY DAY.”  And so I have.  Now stop yelling at me, God.
  • In all the time I spent building up my marriage, I neglected many other relationships–with family, with friends.  It is time that I recognize this, work on it, and grow from it.
  • My cable package sucks.  No wonder it was so cheap.
  • I am better at budgeting than I thought I would be.  I have stuck to my grocery budget & become so methodical in stretching it that every sandwich bag of blueberries for the kids’ lunches has exactly fifty blueberries in it.
  • I used to dream of the day I would get a newer, better car.  Now I cannot wait until I pay off my Scion & drive it into the ground.
  • For every negative in my life, there are three positives.  For example, my divorce is a negative, and here are three positives:
    • The Crohn’s/Colitis support group is going well & growing.
    • I got a promotion at work & learn something new & (exciting to me) every day.
    • I can be alone.  And do things alone.  And succeed.  And grow.

Xo, Beth

Lack of Progress

I have done a terrible job with my list.  I could make excuses, but why bother?

The divorce settlement paperwork is done; we just have to sign & then wait for a date for it to go before a judge.  Looking at the last fourteen years we’ve spent together, and deducing it to how we’re going to break everything apart is the most horrific feeling on earth.

It’s like, here, crack an egg, exactly in half, and let no small piece get into the other’s half.  Everything is so fucking fragile right now, pardon my French.  One day we get along great, and the next we argue about what is “fair” & what is “right”, but who ever really gets to ultimately decide what is “fair” and “right”?  Is what’s “fair” for me really “fair” for him?  I cannot decide.  I do not want to take half of his things because really, I am not a self-entitled piece of shit.  I cannot look at our relationship & pretend like I am “entitled” to things simply because we spent those years together.

I feel that we’ve come to a pretty fair agreement; one that lets us both walk away with dignity & enough money to survive, but other days, it hits me like a freight train that this man is going to be gone from my life.  Not completely; we will always be there for our children & we will always do our best to co-parent in the most positive way possible.  But he is not “mine” anymore, and I am not “his”, and that cuts like a knife to my core.  I feel as though I have lost a limb.

It is “for the best”, this divorce, but again, it doesn’t make it any less painful.  He was not just my husband–he was my friend, my confidante, my partner-in-crime, my live-in comedian.  He carried me up the stairs to bed & took care of me when I was ill.  He would have done anything for me–and I do believe he still would, even though we are no longer together.

He was the one that could never shut a dresser drawer or a cabinet door–the most bizarre bad habit I do believe I have ever encountered; it was infuriating at the time, but now I miss it.

I cannot believe that after all this time, all these memories, all this acquired STUFF, we are just.  Done.

Last week was his week to have the kids, but due to winter break, I kept them during the days and worked from home, as he cannot take time off during end-of-year.  A few nights I asked him to stay for dinner.  I didn’t want him to have to get the kids home right before 7 & then have to think about cooking dinner.  I think it made the kids happy.  I think it made him & I happy–to feel like, wow, we’re killin’ it at this co-parenting.

But inevitably, a bad day comes where we argue about something stupid and then I wonder–did this one bad undo all this other good?

I wonder–will I EVER want to get married again?  Will I ever TRUST another person again the way I trusted my husband?  I feel like no one could stack up to him.  I just cannot envision it.

I am at this crossroads, and my bookshelf kept pulling me to a devotional book that my dad’s wife gave me for Christmas last year.  So I turned to December 31st; I read what it said, along with looking up the accompanying Bible verses, and I cried.  Because it was exactly what I needed to read, as per usual.  Sometimes I feel so alone, but then I remember, that really, I am never alone.  He is always there with me, even when I’m too busy ignoring Him & pretending that I don’t need His help.

This passage I read felt especially relevant, so I highlighted the hell out of it, and then wrote it down & stuck it on the fridge–you know, in case I forget:

1 Peter 1:6-7

“Be glad about this, even though it may now be necessary for you to be sad for a while because of the many kinds of trials you suffer.  Their purpose is to prove that your faith is genuine.”

 

Beth

Goal Check-In + Counseling

2017/2018 Goals

  • Take three cooking classes (preferably cuisine that is out of my comfort zone)
    • 11/16 update: Two friends from work & I are taking the Introductory Class at Katsumi’s Teaching Kitchen on the 26th–I am looking so forward to it.  🙂
  • Start painting again
    • 10/29 update: started my first painting today–we’ll see how it turns out!  🙂
  • Take a trip alone (Cape Cod? Vermont?)
  • Buy flowers for myself (SUNFLOWERS=#love)
    • Done–fresh flowers are always a mood lifter.
  • Join a gym
    • 10/28 update: I joined Planet Fitness–woo!  My goal is to start out going twice a week & once I get used to that, up it to three or four times a week.  
    • I will do a six month check-in on this goal to keep myself accountable.  
    • 10/29 update: I went to Planet Fitness today for the first time since signing up & I LOVED it!  I made it an hour–thirty minutes on the treadmill & thirty minutes on the recumbent bike.
  • Take two spin classes
    • 11/16 update: I just finished my third class at Cyclebar.  I have a love/hate relationship with these classes.  They push me to my limit & p*ss me off, but I love the music & I always feel like a million bucks by the end of the class.  I think I will continue with these classes on a drop-in basis, but I am a bigger fan of the gym because I can zone out to music while watching HGTV.
  • Make a vision board (What do I want to make me happy?)
    • 10/29 update: DONE!  Also found this great article: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-rider/the-scientific-reason-why_b_6392274.html 
    • vision board_1vision board_2
  • Find inspiring self-love quotes
    • 10/29 update: DONE!  https://www.pinterest.com/bethella_fitz/self-love/
  • Watch Heartburn 
  • Run a 5k (for a good cause)
  • Start writing again
    • 10/22 update: Starting this blog counts, right?  😉
  • Read ten books (75% should be non-fiction)
    • 10/29 update: I started reading Living Forward.  Very interesting book so far.
  • Volunteer at Ronald McDonald House
  • Reconnect with five friends I’ve lost touch with
    • 10/22 update: Getting ready to go out with an old friend from high school.  As I type, she is on her way over!  
  • Try two new restaurants downtown (Mesh, Black Market?)
  • Improve meal planning/grocery shopping lists; try new recipes
    • 10/28 update: I used Kroger’s ClickList for the first time today–it was so great!  It made it much easier to meal plan and I stayed under budget because I wasn’t in the store to be tempted to impulse buy anything.  I highly recommend ClickList if you have it in your area.  
  • Take a walk twice per week (Maybe even a walk in the rain/snow now & again?)
    • 10/22 update: Just walked with my good friend/neighbor to nearby model homes & back.  Walking through model homes is super therapeutic & inspiring for me, as I love interior design.  
  • Put a piece of furniture together without the help of a dude (YOU CAN DO IT!)
  • Go to a movie alone
  • Visit the following places:
    • Indianapolis City Market
    • Indy ComedySportz
    • Jazz on the Avenue – Madame Walker Theatre
    • See two Footlite Musicals
    • Wildwood Market

 

I found a therapist a few months back that I really liked, but I knew that I wasn’t quite ready to face the emotions I was feeling at the time, so I blew off returning.  I finally went back to see her yesterday & unleashed the tears.  Sometimes a good cry is more therapeutic than anything else on this planet.

She recommended I read Rebuilding: When your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher & Robert Alberti, so I started listening to it on Audible.  Thus far, the theory is that there at 19 “blocks” that build the mountain of recovery from divorce.  To fully “recover”, you need to scale the mountain–some make it, while others don’t & veer off on their own path (usually this path is another relationship).

If you don’t recover from a relationship that broke you, can you have high hopes for the next to turn out well?  I mean, in any relationship that ends, it’s two parties that made mistakes along the way (be they small or large), and they end in the demise of said relationship.  If you don’t heal from the hurt and acknowledge your own mistakes so you can hopefully prevent yourself from repeating them in the next relationship–can you really expect the next one to turn out much better?  Million dollar question.

I want to take this time to figure myself out–dating in this day & age is ridiculous & full of pressure, head games, and stupid terms like “breadcrumbing” & “ghosting” & “benching”.  I think I’ll sit this one out.

 

My divorce has been pretty “amicable”, all things considered.  We have had a more difficult time coming to an agreement on how to break apart our finances than we’ve had agreeing on custody.  It is so easy to put our kids first because they are our world–my ex always has been (and always will be) an amazing dad.  I take notes from him on a daily basis & admire his patience.  I just wish it was so easy to figure out the money part.

Some days I am literally taking it one. second. at. a. time.  Other days I feel strong and brave and think I’ve got this.

Time heals all.  Or makes all bearable?

Vision Board + Goal Check-in

2017/2018 Goals

  • Take three cooking classes (preferably cuisine that is out of my comfort zone)
  • Start painting again
    • 10/29 update: started my first painting today–we’ll see how it turns out!  🙂
  • Take a trip alone (Cape Cod? Vermont?)
  • Buy flowers for myself (SUNFLOWERS=#love)
  • Join a gym
    • 10/28 update: I joined Planet Fitness–woo!  My goal is to start out going twice a week & once I get used to that, up it to three or four times a week.  
    • I will do a six month check-in on this goal to keep myself accountable.  
    • 10/29 update: I went to Planet Fitness today for the first time since signing up & I LOVED it!  I made it an hour–thirty minutes on the treadmill & thirty minutes on the recumbent bike.
  • Take two spin classes
  • Make a vision board (What do I want to make me happy?)
    • 10/29 update: DONE!  Also found this great article: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth-rider/the-scientific-reason-why_b_6392274.html 
    • vision board_1vision board_2
  • Find inspiring self-love quotes
    • 10/29 update: DONE!  https://www.pinterest.com/bethella_fitz/self-love/
  • Watch Heartburn 
  • Run a 5k (for a good cause)
  • Start writing again
    • 10/22 update: Starting this blog counts, right?  😉
  • Read ten books (75% should be non-fiction)
    • 10/29 update: I started reading Living Forward.  Very interesting book so far.
  • Volunteer at Ronald McDonald House
  • Reconnect with five friends I’ve lost touch with
    • 10/22 update: Getting ready to go out with an old friend from high school.  As I type, she is on her way over!  
  • Try two new restaurants downtown (Mesh, Black Market?)
  • Improve meal planning/grocery shopping lists; try new recipes
    • 10/28 update: I used Kroger’s ClickList for the first time today–it was so great!  It made it much easier to meal plan and I stayed under budget because I wasn’t in the store to be tempted to impulse buy anything.  I highly recommend ClickList if you have it in your area.  
  • Take a walk twice per week (Maybe even a walk in the rain/snow now & again?)
    • 10/22 update: Just walked with my good friend/neighbor to nearby model homes & back.  Walking through model homes is super therapeutic & inspiring for me, as I love interior design.  
  • Put a piece of furniture together without the help of a dude (YOU CAN DO IT!)
  • Go to a movie alone
  • Visit the following places:
    • Indianapolis City Market
    • Indy ComedySportz
    • Jazz on the Avenue – Madame Walker Theatre
    • See two Footlite Musicals
    • Wildwood Market